The May new releases in the MGM Limited Edition series have just been unleashed on the Warner Archive site. Here they are:
- The Winds of Kitty Hawk (1978)
- The Toughest Gun in Tombstone (1958)
- Saintly Sinners (1962)
- Run for the Sun (1956)
- Outlaw Trail (1944)
- Robber’s Roost (1955)
- Gas Pump Girls (1979)
The film is directed by Ishiro Honda, the man behind the original “Gojira” (or Godzilla as we know him here), and is technically a sequel to “Frankenstein Conquers the World.” In this one, the monster madness starts quickly as a giant green ape-like creature emerges from the ocean and does battle with a giant octopus…destroying a nearby ship in the process.
A team of doctors is called in to learn more about the situation. Among them is an American, Dr. Paul Stewart (Russ Tamblyn), and his assistant, and romantic interest, Akemi (Kumi Mizuno). They fear that this “gargantua” may be a creature that they raised and studied when it was young and looked like one of the Monchhichi dolls. Remember those things? Sing it now…Monchhichi, Monchhichi, oh so soft and cuddly.
When the creature comes ashore and decides to tear up the Tokyo airport, our scientists begin to think that this may not be their gargantua. The creature makes several more appearances, smashes some stuff, eats some ladies, before a plan is hatched to lure it into the wilderness and zap it. Just when the military thinks they have the creature defeated, another one shows up. This one is brown, and is the creature raised by the scientists.
At first, the brown gargantua has compassion on the green one, but it doesn’t take long for him to see that old greenie is definitely the evil twin. The brown one attacks the green one and the two engage in a battle that takes them all the way to Tokyo. We’re talking all out destruction here!
Monsters battling each other is one of things that make Kaiju movies so much fun! But when you have Godzilla battling Ghidorah, or something like that, there is a limit to the dexterity of those creatures. A man in a giant lizard suit can only do so much. But in “The War of the Gargantuas,” the creatures are fairly humanoid…so when they do battle, they can really tear each other apart. This is like WWE Wrestling, Tokyo style! These guys throw each other around, slam into buildings…it rocks! Don’t even get me started on the finale which involves an underwater volcano! Amazing!
As far as the human characters go…well they’re often a necessary evil in a Kaiju movie. We need them to move the story along, but who cares what they’re doing…just get to the monster action! That’s not the case here, though. The cast deserves a lot of credit. I love Russ Tamblyn’s laid back approach to his role. He acts like giant creatures doing body slams into office buildings is an everyday event for him…and for some reason that smooth approach fits this film perfectly. I also loved Kumi Mizuno’s spirited, and slyly sexy, performance.
Ah Tuesday…the day when the Warner Archive new releases come out. Here are new ones this week!
- Is My Face Red? (1932)
- The Age of Consent (1932)
- State’s Attorney (1932)
- Lucky Devils (1933)
- The Phantom of Crestwood (1932)
- The Sport Parade (1932)
Do you know why so many men of my generation don’t like Kevin Kline? It’s simple, he took Phoebe Cates off the market! Not only did he succeed in landing the ultimate 80’s dreamgirl, but then she pretty much retired from making movies to focus on being a wife and a mother. That’s certainly an admirable thing but it severely limited her filmography. Still, no matter what, her place in film history is secure. I don’t mean to get crude here, but I think it’s accurate to say that she is the star of what is probably the most famous topless scene in the past 100+ years of moviemaking. That being the scene where she emerges from the pool in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.” That scene certainly caught a lot of people’s attention back in 1982 and it led to her starring in a teen sex comedy the following year…1983’s “Private School.”
“Vulgar” does not even begin to describe this sort of movie. Case in point, the names of the two private schools at the center of the film: Cherryvale Academy for Girls and Freemount (yes, Freemount) Academy for Men. As the film opens we are introduced to three of the boys: handsome Jim (Matthew Modine), geeky Roy (Jonathan Prince), and chubby walking hormone Bubba (Michael Zorek). They have come to Cherryvale for a dance and are engaging in the pre-game activity of standing on each others shoulders to take Polaroid pictures of the girls as they shower and get dressed. Among the girls are Jim’s girlfriend Chris (Cates), her roommate Betsy (Kathleen Wilhoite), and rich girl Jordan (Betsy Russell), who has plans to steal Jim from Chris. The main qualification for girls getting into Cherryvale seems to be the ability to group aerobicize.
Now, what’s odd about the whole premise of the film is that we have these two “private” schools, one for boys and one for girls, yet they seem to do all their activities together. Beyond the dance, the two schools seem to have horse riding class together. This is where Jordan decides to flash her breasts to Jim to draw his attention away from Chris. To get revenge, Betsy rides over and snatches Jordan’s shirt. As she rides off like Lady Godiva, Bubba chases on her on his horse…slobbering and grasping at thin air as he gallops along.
This is what passes for humor here folks. There are a few funny scenes involving Chris and Jim as they have decided to take their relationship all the way. They fumble about as they try to do things like make hotel reservations and buy condoms. Martin Mull has a funny cameo as the pharmacist…remember folks, in 1983 the condoms were kept behind the counter. These moments are few and far between as most of the movie focuses on the characters doing things that would get them sued for sexual harassment or thrown in jail in the real world. I mean, there is one “joke” that would seem to indicate that Bubba engaged with Betsy in what today we would call “date rape.” And she doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. Was that ever funny?! The movie even pulls out the old bit where the guys dress as girls to go trolling through the girls dorm.
But, if we can manage to look past the nastiness of the material, I will say that Phoebe Cates is as likeable as ever. You know how they say it’s impossible sneeze and keep your eyes open? Well, it’s also impossible to watch a Phoebe Cates movie and not fall in love with her. Curse you Kevin Kline! Matthew Modine is also appropriately awkward, though I do not care to repeat the experience of seeing him in a dress anytime soon. I’m sure he’s on board with that, as well. As for the supporting players, Betsy Russell does make a good villain, though she was better as the sweet title character in “Tomboy.” And then there’s Michael Zorek, who according to his IMDB biography seems to be an upstanding citizen today…retired from movies, stay at home dad and all that…but sorry dude, Bubba may be one of the most offensive characters ever on film. I forgive you, though.
In the end, I have a feeling that most of the film’s cast wouldn’t list this flick high on their resumes and wouldn’t have a problem with it residing in the realm of forgotten films. But anytime Phoebe Cates wants to return to movies to make amends for this one, we welcome her with open arms.
The film is based on a play by Tennessee Williams. It concerns a Korean war veteran named George Haverstick (Jim Hutton) who is a patient in a hospital being treated for frequent “shakes” he experiences. During his stay, he falls in love with Isabel (Fonda) a young nurse who works the nightshift. This all happens over the opening credits. The story really begins as the couple exit their small wedding ceremony with the local justice of the peace.
But things get off to bad start when Isabel is surprised to see George pull up in their wedding car, a hearse. George insists it’s a station wagon and an argument begins. Things go from bad to worse as the two have their first meal as husband and wife in a roadside greasy spoon and their wedding night in a run down motel. Norman Bates ran a better establishment, let’s put it that way. While Isabel is certainly up for consummating the marriage, George has fears about his whether he can perform and ends up drinking himself to sleep.
The next day, the two head for Tennessee to visit a war buddy of George’s, Ralph Baitz (Tony Franciosa). Ralph’s six year marriage is having problems of its own. He has finally told off his pompous boss/father-in-law and quit his job. He thinks his wife will be thrilled that he stood up for himself, but instead, she decides to leave…and on Christmas Eve.
When George pulls up at Ralph’s home, he unloads his wife and her bags and then drives away. Oh, he comes back eventually, but not before Isabel and Ralph have had a lot of discussion about their various problems. When George does return, there is a lot more arguing…all the while, Ralph keeps trying to get the newlyweds to patch things up. Plus, he has to deal with his in-laws who come by to snatch their daughter’s things, believing that Ralph intends to sell them off and skip town.
I realize that description doesn’t make the movie sound all that interesting. It is a hard movie to describe as it is very talky and there really isn’t all that much stuff that actually happens. As I said, the film is based on a stage production. It definitely has that feel…heavy on dialogue, limited locations and such. The film also tackles some provocative subjects…especially for 1962. Most notably, George’s fears regarding his ability to perform sexually.
Though all the actors do a great job, it’s Fonda’s performance that really makes the movie work. She covers a wide range of emotions in the film, sometimes making sudden leaps between them. Her performance is at times funny, at times heartwarming, at time heartbreaking. I’ll be honest, Jane Fonda has never been a favorite actress for me, but this performance did a lot to change my view of her acting talents.
This was the debut film for director George Roy Hill, who would later direct such classics as “The Sting” and “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.” He had some background working on stage and it’s put to good use here, but he also approaches the material with a good cinematic eye. Despite the limited number of characters and locations, the film does not end up with the claustrophobic feel that some stage productions have when adapted to the screen.
This is a film that really should be a standout in Jane Fonda’s filmography. Why it’s been forgotten over the years truly baffles me. It’s definitely more of a keeper than her workout videos.
Have you ever heard of a crook making an infomercial to try to get financial backing for a heist? I suppose you could make a case that the folks behind some of those infomercials that run late night on the USA Network are crooks…but this is completely different. It’s an odd way to start the 1957 B-movie “Hell Bound.”
The film begins with this infomercial that details a plan to swipe a supply of narcotics from a ship returning from the far east. It’s all very complicated and involves the ship picking up a man who appears to be the sole survivor of a fishing boat accident floating in a life raft (he’s actually in on the plan). This causes the ship to have to be put under quarantine when it arrives in LA. The health inspector who comes on board (in on the plan, too) is a diabetic and he begins to feel ill while on board. Then, the fisherman finds the drugs and stuffs them in the inspectors coat…meanwhile, the inspector gives himself an overdose of insulin, causing him to go unconscious. An ambulance is then dispatched and the on-board nurse (in on the plan, too) grabs the coat as the inspector is carted off. Nobody even knows what happened.
This little film was all produced by the criminal mastermind Jordan (John Russell) to get some financial backing for the plan from big time crook Harry Quantro (Frank Fenton). I guess Quantro is just plain wowed by Jordan’s cinematic talents, so he decides he’s in…that is, if his girl Paula (June Blair) gets to be the nurse. This will make sure he’s got one of his people keeping an eye on the operation.
Jordan’s girlfriend, Jan (Margo Woodle), was originally supposed to be the nurse, but with Paula around, she’s out of the picture. Somehow, Paula is able to just jump into Jan’s nurse job and take over…but Jan warns her to be careful since the ambulance driver, Eddie (Stuart Whitman) is not in on the heist. It doesn’t take long for Paula to not only experience the difficulties of being an ambulance nurse, but to also start falling for Eddie.
Meanwhile, Jordan works on the other elements of the plan. In one scene he meets a seaman in a secluded location to get a diagram of the ship’s cargo hold and a key to the storage area. After paying the man a hefty sum, Jordan then runs him down with his car…and doesn’t even go back for the dough! He also recruits a druggie, Stanley Thomas (George Mather), to play the fisherman and Herbert Fay (Stanley Adams), a diabetic port health inspector willing to go along with the plan. But soon, things begin to fall apart. Stanley begins to fall back into his drug abuse, and Fay is told by his doctor that taking his insulin could cause a heart attack. Worst of all, Paula wants out. She tries to tell Eddie about who she really is, but can’t get it out. Then, one night after Eddie leaves, she tells Jordan she wants out. His response is to knife her in the gut. Now, Jan is back in…but Jordan ends up getting more than he bargained for as the plan moves forward.
“Hell Bound” starts off really shaky. The “informercial” that starts the whole thing is pretty silly. It does help the audience understand the plan when it’s all breaking down toward the end of the end of the film…but I fear that this lengthy sequence may succeed in causing many viewers to shut off the film before it even gets started. Too bad for them, because once you get through the first 8 minutes, the film really takes off!
The cast is great! John Russell as Jordan makes a smooth but vicious villain. At first you think he’s just the brains of the operation…never getting his hands dirty. But then he starts to show his affinity for vehicular homicide and he becomes incredibly evil. It sounds terrible to say it this way, but the scene where he stabs Paula is great! June Blair is also very good as Paula. Her introduction is really sexy and seeing her character break down as she deals with the horror of being an ambulance nurse is quite convincing.
The whole plot to steal the drugs is really contrived, as many movie criminal plans are. But as the whole thing starts to fall apart, the movie does manage to surprise the viewer. Just when you figure out what’s going to do Jordan in, another twist sends us off in another direction. It’s a B-flick, but there are a lot of interesting filmmaking on display. The photography is creative, especially in the closing chase which takes place in a junkyard where old LA trolley cars have been stacked up for demolition. One of the coolest locations ever!
“Hell Bound” is a great little movie with a truly creepy villain…and a groundbreaker in the field of criminal infomercials.
In the 80’s, there were tons of sword and sorcery flicks. After “Conan the Barbarian” made Arnold Schwarzenegger a star in 1982, these movies were all over the Blockbuster Video shelves. There was “Beastmaster,” “Deathstalker,” “Barbarian Queen,” and their many sequels. Heck, if you were a film producer, had a couple of Playboy models on hand, and could get Boris Valejo to do the poster art for ya…you were halfway there! A strange entry in this mini-genre is a 1987 film based on a series of erotic sci-fi fantasy books that boasts over thirty installments. It’s time to journey to the world of “Gor.”
The film follows dweeby college professor Tarl Cabot (Urbano Barberini). Cabot is the owner of a strange ring passed down through his family which, legend has it, can open up a portal to another world. After being stood up by his girlfriend, Cabot finds out that the legend is true when the ring whisks him off to the planet Gor just before he crashes his car.
On Gor, Cabot lands right in the middle of a battle where the evil warlord Sarm (Oliver Reed) is stealing a village’s “Home Stone.” In the scuffle, Cabot ends up killing Sarm’s son…and so revenge is in order. But a trio of fighters, including the clothing-challenged Talena (Rebecca Ferratti…who, of course, posed for Playboy), nurse Cabot back to health and start to train him as a warrior. It seems that strangers from other worlds have visited Gor before, and Talena and company think they can rally others around Cabot to defeat Sarm and get back their Home Stone.
After a short training montage, the group heads off to a dusty village to get weapons and supplies. This dusty town is run by the nasty, snorting Surbus (Paul L Smith) and has plenty of sexy dancers, chick fights, and helpful midgets. The only thing this burg is missing is its own Thunderdome.
The previously mentioned midget offers to lead the travelers to Sarm’s hangout…where they are promptly captured. Now, Sarm tries to lure Cabot to his team with food and women…but our hero must find a way to rescue his centerfold companion and rid Gor of evil.
From what I’ve read, this film bears little resemblance to the book it claims to be based on. Needless to say, fans of the books have no great love for this film. But, the books seem to have just as many detractors…so looks like we’re doomed in either case. Can’t comment on the books…but the movie is pretty clumsy. It’s full of dialogue and action which are unintentionally comedic.
“Gor” managed a PG rating, which is strange considering that the source material is known for being, shall we say, sexually charged. What we end up with is a lot of camp. Make no mistake, this is a bad movie…but sometimes bad is good. Take Oliver Reed, he was a fine actor…but not this time around. His performance is over the top in every possible way…at times coming across like an evil chuckling Santa Claus. But, I gotta admit, he was my favorite thing about the movie.
You also can’t help but love Rebecca Ferratti as the warrior woman Talena. Gorgeous yes, but an actress she is not. However, ya gotta dig the big hair and the way she manages to take out tons of bad guys with a sword that is clearly too heavy for her to wield. Ooh, and I almost forgot to mention Jack Palance. He doesn’t show up until the last few minutes of the movie. Out of nowhere, boom, there he is! He just stands around and then delivers the closing narration in his usual breathy way. All to set up his role as the villain in the, you guessed it, sequel! That film, “Outlaw of Gor,” is famous for having appeared on “Mystery Science Theater 3000.”
In the end, I guess I enjoyed “Gor,” but certainly not in the way the filmmakers intended. The movie is funny! If you love a good bad movie, charge up your magic glowing ring and head for Gor.
The film begins with a submarine crew coming into port in New York City. They’ve earned some R&R and each have a lot of cash burnin’ holes in their wallets. Most of the crew is anxious to go out and spend it, which they tell us all about in song, but one sailor known as Choirboy (Gordon McRae) has different plans. He’s decided to invest his money in the stock market. At first his shipmates think he’s crazy, but they soon begin to like the sound of seeing their dollars multiply. They all decide to send their dough with Choirboy who heads off to Wall Street with two other sailors, Porky (Jack E Leonard) and Twitch (Gene Nelson).
When they arrive at the offices of famous stockbroker B.P. Morrow, they are welcomed warmly…that is, after it’s learned they are carrying a gunny sack with $50,000 in it. But while they wait to see Morrow, they overhear 2nd rate Broadway producer, Joe Woods (Sam Levene), and his leading lady Penny Weston (Jane Powell), trying to get money for their show. Morrow refuses and kicks them out…as Woods shouts rumours about the firm having financial trouble in an attempt to make the other customers nervous.
It works on Choirboy and the other sailors. When they reveal that they were about to invest 50G’s, Woods takes them back to his rehearsal space to try and get them to invest in the show. He even convinces them that the show is about the Navy, which it isn’t. Doesn’t really matter that much, since the boys are more won over by Penny’s talents…and the fact that she has great legs doesn’t hurt.
The boys begin to help out with their new investment, helping with props and other odd jobs. At first their buddies back on the sub don’t like the change of plan, but when they meet Penny their attitudes quickly change. Everyone is on board…well, except for the show’s leading man, opera singer Emilio Rossi (George Givot). Rossi is making the jump from opera to musical comedy, but he keeps messing up in rehearsal and insisting that the problem is the material, not him. Meanwhile, Penny and Choirboy are starting to fall in love during the rehearsals.
When the show opens for previews in Boston, it’s a complete disaster. Now, with the $50,000 investment on the line, Choirboy takes control…reworking the whole show with himself in the lead and the rest of the sailors backing him up.
“Three Sailors and a Girl” is not as big a production as some movie musicals…but it’s not exactly a B-musical either. Let’s call it a B+ musical. Some of the songs are fun, others are a bit silly…”You better kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, or I’ll scream!” Jane Powell does make a good leading lady, she’s got a fun, playful, approach to the whole thing. Gordon MacRae, though, is sort of a mixed bag. For some reason his acting and his singing don’t seem to mesh. It almost sounds like his singing voice was dubbed by another performer, but I doubt that was the case as he was a regular in other musical films. In fact, the year after this was released he starred in “Oklahoma.” It’s fun to note that in this film, Sam Levene’s character mentions that his show is “bigger than Oklahoma,” it’s title…Texas.
The supporting cast is has some fun moments, as well. Jack E Leonard as the unfortunately named sailor Porky has a great comedic flair, George Givot as the pompous opera singer is appropriately over-the-top, and Archer MacDonald as the dweeby put-upon writer of the show had me wishing his role was a bit larger.
Though it suffers from a somewhat tired premise and unmemorable songs, “Three Sailors and a Girl” is still an enjoyable enough little musical.
thesquonk